Firstly thank you for writing this down, that took courage. I too can really feel the emotion you are talking us through and feel the weight that is sitting on both of you.
I agree with some of the others comments about about getting support, connecting in with a mentor who is impartial can help you see the wood through the trees sometimes.You don’t need to go through this alone!
It has been such a hard period to navigate but from what you have talked through you seem to be in a solid position and should also feel pretty proud that you have build a business that supports yourselves and 8 employees, that will put you in the upper quartile of businesses in NZ so well done!
I know from my experience this year has had different effects on different members of the team and Ive had to be really conscious to not look or react to the behaviour I see, but look for the root cause. There are many things we and our employees are having to deal, some of which we have no idea about. My advise on the staff issues is to be curious and try and see through their truths not your own, it could help build a better understanding for both of you.
Good luck working through your options with the support and if I can help director support in any way I’m more than happy to connect.